Beyoncé Fakes Pregnancy: Publicity Stunt or to Save her Marriage?
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
2059 51524 Shares
New reports tell us that Beyoncé is faking her pregnancy. After studying Beyoncé’s recently released pregnancy announcement pictures, analysts have found that her baby bump is fake. With great make up work and a inflatable fake baby bump, Queen B was able to pull off these extremely realistic images.
One of Beyoncé’s old colleague’s, Michelle Williams, cousin’s mom’s uncle twice removed heard from a close friend of Beyoncé that before the shoot, they walked in on her before the shoot and there was no sign of a baby bump. When Michelle William’s cousin’s mom’s uncle twice removed tried to confront Beyoncé about it, he was kicked out of the studio. Other sources may say that the only reason this information was leaked is because Michelle Williams is jealous that Beyoncé was able to leave Destiny’s Child and become rich, famous, and successful on her own.
Not only do we have a witness but our top line investigator has carefully pulled apart Beyoncé’s images and found a fault in her position. “Her hand that’s underneath her stomach is too closed to be holding anything bigger than a softball”, states instagram users.
To “give us a hint”, Beyoncé randomly rubbed her stomach during one of her performances. This was only to start suspicions about her so-called pregnancy. We investigated this claim and currently based off of her nutritionist’s best friend’s brother, “Beyoncé was just eating good that day”.
Also another aid to hiding this secret is that Beyoncé uses vines and flowers to hide any enlarging alterations. Similar to Khloé Kardashian’s altered fitness pictures, Beyonce used the same methods, only it’s impossible to notice.
Another inside source tells us that there is only one known pregnancy test that was taken by Queen B, or was it even taken by here. But a few days after her announcement, a young, very pregnant woman came into our office to give us new information. Apparently, Beyoncé paid an underpaid, lower class woman to give her a positive pregnancy test. “Of course I took this offer. I work as a housemaid and I know when I have my child I won't be able to work. This is the only income I have so taking money to do this felt like nothing big”.
Is Beyoncé’s body telling the whole story? Her breasts don't seem to be getting bigger? Yes, she has a belly but it's from 1. a blow up fake tummy or 2. eating good as Beyoncé’s nutritionist’s best friend’s brother said before. Studies show women gain weight when they're pregnant but if one takes into account the fake belly, Beyoncé’s face is still flawless and doesn't seem to show any weight gain.
With the hard facts from multiple sources, one can see that Beyoncé is not truly pregnant and is only doing this as a publicity stunt. Why would she do this? Maybe because her last album wasn't that popular enough or maybe she wasn't just trying to fool us but Jay Z as well because their marriage was at risk of failure. Who knows why Queen B would ever lie to her hive??
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
Most Popular
-
1
bigfoot sighting at jackson lake campground near oak hill ohio Several eye witness reported seeing a large hairy animal of some kind near the Jackson lake campground. Local authorities are asking people to be cautious if you are planning on fishing near this area. One of the witnesses where able to snap a picture with their cell phone before the creature ran away near the Tommy Been rd area.
-
2
new york city woman loses her temper, causes black hole to swallow her entire town Anna, 26, of New York City, DC was in the middle of an argument with a colleague when her temper got so out of control, it formed a small black hole, which demolished the vast majority of her neighborhood. "I just couldn't take it anymore, and unleashed my forces at the person who was irritating me. I had no idea the energy of my rage could cause such destruction," says Anna. Despite the ruination her anger has caused, Anna says she has no regrets. "I actually wish I knew I had this ability sooner!" Anna laughs. "There are a lot of people and things I could have eradicated from my life in this way."
-
3
whale spotted in illinois river A humpback whale was spotted near Morris IL in the Illinois River today. The sighting comes just days after 2 Great White Sharks were seen frolicking in the same area. While not impossible, it does seem unlikely. It is thought that the whale may have followed the sharks as they sometimes do in the wild. The whale would of had to travel over 1250 miles to get to this location. The Marine Biologist Association will be in town for a full investigation. Until we have answers, we are asking folks to keep their pontoons and fishing boats docked.
-
4
two great white sharks found swimming in mississippi river near saint louis, missouri. While it is not entirely impossible, it is incredibly uncommon for salt water dwelling creatures to stay for lengthy periods of time in fresh water. However, two Great White Sharks have managed to survive the trip and make their way up the Mississippi River somehow. Believed to have started as a mating couple, the two are assumed to have swam the 920 mile journey from the mouth of the Mississippi River that is connected to the Gulf Of Mexico. Officials in Saint Louis have contacted the Missouri Conservation Department and will likely have a team in the river soon to capture the two lost sharks.