City of North Myrtle Beach Preparing for Family Reunion
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
2059 72314 Shares
North Myrtle Beach (AP). The City of North Myrtle Beach is preparing this week for a family reunion of epic proportions. As members of the family of Dr. Donald D'Amico begin arriving into this usually quiet and peaceful beach town, everyone is waiting to see what happens. "They are a nice family and all, but it kind of gets out-of-control" said a neighbor lady who wouldn't give her name on fear of reprisals, " they reserve the best picnic table at our condo complex every day and the best spots on the beach for the whole week! It's just not fair."
The local sherif will also be on the lookout for crazy golf cart drivers. Sherif John Sparky said, "Rambunctious young children, a half blind old man, a crazy lady and drunk so-called adult-siblings take control of our streets and treat Ocean Keyes like their own private race track," he said, "just a bunch of self-entitled 3rd generation immigrants from Italy."
"I've even seen them let their kids pee in the ocean", said a local lifeguard, "and this one D'Amico lady, she's real pretty, but she always takes all the best shells off the beach. Very inconsiderate."
But this reporter found a bright side to the invasion of these so-called "legal" immigrants. "They play games together, eat meals together, and look like they really love being together", said Pastor Thomas from the local Barefoot Church, "when you see them around our community you are reminded that everything's gonna be OK. If they can get along, then me and my family can make it, too. It's priceless, a rare glimpse of heaven on earth."
As the North Myrtle Beach community braces for next week, hopefully you are also getting ready for what might be the best family reunion ever..... :)
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
Most Popular
-
1
bigfoot sighting at jackson lake campground near oak hill ohio Several eye witness reported seeing a large hairy animal of some kind near the Jackson lake campground. Local authorities are asking people to be cautious if you are planning on fishing near this area. One of the witnesses where able to snap a picture with their cell phone before the creature ran away near the Tommy Been rd area.
-
2
new york city woman loses her temper, causes black hole to swallow her entire town Anna, 26, of New York City, DC was in the middle of an argument with a colleague when her temper got so out of control, it formed a small black hole, which demolished the vast majority of her neighborhood. "I just couldn't take it anymore, and unleashed my forces at the person who was irritating me. I had no idea the energy of my rage could cause such destruction," says Anna. Despite the ruination her anger has caused, Anna says she has no regrets. "I actually wish I knew I had this ability sooner!" Anna laughs. "There are a lot of people and things I could have eradicated from my life in this way."
-
3
whale spotted in illinois river A humpback whale was spotted near Morris IL in the Illinois River today. The sighting comes just days after 2 Great White Sharks were seen frolicking in the same area. While not impossible, it does seem unlikely. It is thought that the whale may have followed the sharks as they sometimes do in the wild. The whale would of had to travel over 1250 miles to get to this location. The Marine Biologist Association will be in town for a full investigation. Until we have answers, we are asking folks to keep their pontoons and fishing boats docked.
-
4
two great white sharks found swimming in mississippi river near saint louis, missouri. While it is not entirely impossible, it is incredibly uncommon for salt water dwelling creatures to stay for lengthy periods of time in fresh water. However, two Great White Sharks have managed to survive the trip and make their way up the Mississippi River somehow. Believed to have started as a mating couple, the two are assumed to have swam the 920 mile journey from the mouth of the Mississippi River that is connected to the Gulf Of Mexico. Officials in Saint Louis have contacted the Missouri Conservation Department and will likely have a team in the river soon to capture the two lost sharks.