Willie Nelson to headline Georgetown Festival of the Horse
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After years of declining attendance, a date change, bad weather, and groups singing on the back of a semi flatbed that nobody has heard of before, Georgetown, KY has gone big and invited Willie Nelson to headline the Festival of the Horse. When the Festival committee was asked why change, the comment was "when legislation was passed to allow a big flag by a camping store, we decided to go big or go home this year".
Residents have been responding year after year that the only reason they attend the festival is watch their kids winging hard candy from the back of a haywagon trying to crack open the heads of their hated 5th grade teacher. Bald men, newborns, and the handicapped were also frequent targets of lemonheads, dum dums, and other unwanted candy found at Family Dollar on the way to the festival. We actually wanted to give people a reason to get excited and come down to the festival in 2017.
Of course the 35 tents of scentsy, tupperware, jahovah witnesses, ugly crafts, cheap jewelry, $13 funnel cakes, and every church in town telling you why they are better than the other will still be in place to clog up the streets. The usual parades will occur, the 12 horses, the firetrucks, a couple of cops on Segways, a tow truck, infants in cheerleader outfits, and the Sadieville yodelers and clogging club will attend as usual.
If the Festival fails to break even with the extra cost to bring in Willie Nelson and supplying his dressing room with a couple ounces of weed, the Festival may be cancelled in future years. The city said no worries though, the same 15 groups in the Horse Parade also participate in the Christmas parade, and the vendors go from school cafe to school cafe and church to church on the weekends to sell their wares under different names. The same unknown bands will still play by the courthouse on Thursday nights, all we need is Mr Patel to allow the few folks that show up to use the Subway restroom and our portable restroom costs go away.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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