Local English Dies From Stress Levels

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A sad day here at the Yakima Valley College, as the teacher to a English 102 class walked into a rather frightful sight, the death of all her students. According to Yakima PD "It looked as if they were taking a quick snooze, slumped over their keyboards" ( Chief Dominic Rizzi, Jr) according to the police report, Shannon Hopkins said that "The first indication that I thought something was wrong was when I noticed the eyes of some kids were wide open" (Hopkins). Shannon Hopkins, the Professor of this class had time for a quick talk with us before she broke down, "I-I-I do not really know what happened... All of them sent in their work last night, I had a response from every single one of them." (Hopkins). She is now currently in the hospital due to shock.

The police are further investigating this terrible tragedy. In total there was a loss of 18 students, male and female, all seemed to be of the same cause, stress. It seems as if the work load that was expected of them became too unbearable and the neurons in their brain shut down the part of their body that helped them function with stress. The only problem was not only did it shut down the stress functioning part but it seemed to shut down the whole nervous system. Which then lead to the total bodily shut down.

We then asked the Yakima Valley College on what they had to say about this issue and all we received was a slammed door to the face. It is safe to say that while Shannon seemed torn up about the students fate, the college was not. Was there more to this situation that meets the eye? We cannot answer these questions now but we do hope that these students get the true story told and that they did not die in vain.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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