The Vikings' Return
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August 9th, 802
As many of you fellow Ionian's know, the Vikings have been terrorizing Christian towns for as long as we can remember. Just seven years ago, the devil worshippers raided our town and left us in ruins. We barely survived the last attack, and have recently been thriving. Up until yesterday, when they returned, their strategy deadlier than ever. They barreled into our peaceful and uprising region clad in horned iron helmets (according to some interviewers) and impenetrable armour, a mixture of axes, swords, and spears in hand. The horde of demons left our beloved monastery in ruins, and many homes (if not all) have been left in shambles. The individuals who lived in the monastery are all dead, minus two who luckily survived to tell the disastrous tale. Bahri Alim, who had been at the monastery during the attack, claims, “They burst in during a baptism and the baby and her family were all killed. The priest, too, was badly injured but was fortunately able to run from the terrorists before they could hurt him anymore.” We weep for the ones who were brutally murdered by these inhumane creatures. A total of forty bodies have been found thus far, and the town has been completely silent since the raid yesterday. Everyone has been in mourning of everything lost. We are all so distraught, ashamed that we were so unaware of the horror to come. How the vikings planned everything so obscurely is unknown to us. Then again, we have heard of how fast their ships can go. Apparently, they can arrive seemingly out of nowhere and attack! Also, other towns have told us how unexpected the vikings can be, if only we had been alert. We didn’t think they would return after the last raid in 795, considering that one was terrible enough. However, they have left us even worse off than before, and we are praying for a prosperous ascension.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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