Portland Police Search For Local Known Gilly

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Oct. 22, 2016
Portland Police Search for local known Gilly Mase. After robbing the AmPm™ gas station on Lombard and MLK, with a banana in his pocket portraying it to be a fully loaded pistol. As he entered the gas station with his right hand tucked in his sweater he screamed at the cashier, " Give me all the fucking money and woods you got you f*cking Gilly or I'll take your head off! ". The cashier who was scared for his life proceeded and listened to the local stick up Gilly and gave him money and BackWood™ cigars and set off the silent alarm that was located by the register. After receiving the money the local Gilly ran out but before leaving he turned around and pulled his hand out as if he was going to shoot. He then pulled out a banana the cashier later told us, and threw it at the cashier and ran out the door, but what the Gilly didn't realize was that when he pulled out the banana he drop a bag of "Xanax" pills. It's estimated street worth is $1,000 of pills. 100 pills were recovered by police and they say in the streets it's what they call a "roll" of Xanax. Police is still searching for the local stick up Gilly. If you have any information call Portland Police and you will stay anonymous.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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