Women Found In Critical Condition (Morris heights area)
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At approximately 6:30 A.M this Saturday morning a women has em found in massive critical condition. A couple were going for a morning jog before they shortly noticed an arm hanging out from an exposed end of a dumpster.
As soon as the body was noticed the couple approached the dumpster. The name of the person found is 19 year-old Kali Bucks. She was found U con just and rushed to hospital, where they later began to investigate.
A variety of examinations were ran on her to determine what was the cause of unconsciousness. Officer Maria Cortes from the 46 precinct stated " We ran various exams in which all fail to depict the actual problem here. This young lady has a decent amount of time with no sexual activity".
People began to think of how not participating in sexual intercourse can really affect the human body functions. Two hours after investigation began, Ms. Bucks woke up . She explained "Day 75 w/ no di*k I felt the room get smaller I was surging of crumbs and water." As she told us the last thing she can remember which clearly isn't dick.
She's now been sent to a rehabilitation center in which they can cure her needs freely and voluntarily. Lots of dick.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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