Man assaulted for posts on Facebook

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Police say a New Haven man was assaulted for his rants on Facebook. The victim said he was walking home and was approached by two men he said one of the men said "so you don't like skinny jeans" next the men grabbed him by his head and feet and when he awoke he was wearing the clothes he had not had on prior to the altercation, which was pink skinny jeans,a black netted haulter top shirt and a pair of Reebok Classics also known as "54.11s". The victim was treated for a yeast infection because the jeans were four sizes too small he was also treated for frostbit nipples due to recent climate change and the fact he wasn't wearing a shirt under the haulter top. Police said "this can be anyone because so many kids are wearing skinny jeans". They are asking the community if they any information please contact them

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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