Man arrested for eating 23 boxes of cookies at a local supermarket

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Taven(16)Haney who kept referring to himself as "[email protected]" was arrested Sunday night in a local portage Walmart for eating 23 boxes of cookies and verbally assulting employees calling them names such as "F**k Boys* and "meme sluts". When police arrived on the scene the boy was shirtless in the CD section yelling at customers that his "mixtape" wasn't being sold there. When police finally subdued the suspect and were walking him to there police cruisers he kept objecting and and screaming "Harambe was an inside job!" And we are assuming he was referring to the gorilla shot in the Cincinnati zoo earlier this year.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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