Warning for Berwyn residence
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Earlier today police responded to a call on the 22nd block of oak park avenue in Berwyn Il, where a woman was reportedly smelling bicycle seats. Police say 19yr old Andy had just rode his bike home from a basketball game, tired and drenched in sweat when the woman approached him, pushed him off his bike and proceeded to sniff his seat. Horrified, Andy ran inside to alert his parents but the woman ran off. She has now been identified as the same woman accused of breaking into homes and stealing residents couch cushion. Police have searched the area and are asking neighbors to keep an eye out for the "booty bandit". Others have now come forward with confessions of the same woman committing the same crime over the past few months. If you have any information contact authorities immediately. Police warn everyone to stay away from her and be cautious of where you sit. Her obsession with the smell of ass can be dangerous and she may get violent if interrupted.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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