Pigeon-Toed Boy Dies Due to His Poor Physical Attributes
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At 4:02pm Sunday afternoon, John (Jack) Cleary was found unconscious in his basement. He was later pronounced dead in the hospital. The doctors at the hospital said that there was no killer as the victim had killed himself. Sources say he was playing soccer in his backyard like the try hard jv cut does every day. He was tired from working himself to the bone, literally, and was walking to his basement with his pigeon toed feet. His carelessness took over and he tripped over himself, falling down his stair case and shattering every bone in his body as there was nothing else on him besides skin and bone. Jack's idol, Sergio Kun Aguero, tweeted out "lol" when he heard about "Jaycee's" death. Doctors also reported that his odd crop of hair was still in its perfect condition that he always tried to keep it in. He is depicted above with the love of his life, Abigail Thomas, who is devastated that he died without them getting the opportunity to depruded each other. Rest easy, John.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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