Mayor Rahm Emanuel explains why he claimed to be a White Sox fan
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In the recent days we have seen most of Chicago's south side celebrate the Cubs, then abandon the White Sox. Some going as far as claiming they only said they were White Sox fans to fit in after the team won the World Series. Another fan stated he claimed to be a White Sox fan after his friend invited him to a club that posed as White Sox fans, just for the free game tickets. Manny Quinn, of Bridgeport, says "I can finally say what and how I feel about the team and their deplorable fans". When asked further questions he explained how White Sox fans "do nothing but talk $^@!. The team can't even play a good game, but these idiots won't shut up". He is among around 20,000 signatures who are trying to get the White Sox removed from Chicago. Another petition signee, who asked to stay anonymous because the works for the White Sox front office, said "Why do you think Rahm comes here? These people are uneducated, poor, unemployed. The city uses the White Sox as population control. The team is on the south side to give these otherwise useless individuals something to do. But in recent years they haven't been watching, and that's why the murder rate has skyrocketed. Even the city sees this as a bad investment, why do you think they haven't had any real talent in 10 years? It was insanely expensive to buy the World Series 11 years ago". We recently caught up with Mayor Emanuel, on the Red Line, and asked him some questions about this. When asked if he was still a White Sox fan he was quick to respond with the following, "Look, those people on the south side have nothing, look at Pilsen, Englewood, Little Village, Lawndale, Bridgeport, West Pullman, even their little league teams break the laws". When asked again if he was still a fan he paused for a bit, then said the following, "I might not do everything right, but what I never fail on is keeping myself safe. The people who go to those games, can't fight their way out of a wet paper bag, no one there has the brains, or skills to even be a credible threat. I have never really liked the White Sox, but I couldn't risk my safety like that, I needed Chicago to see they could relate to me, in a safe, inexpensive way, where better than Guaranteed Low Rate Park? After all the team is only there to keep them safe from themselves"
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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