WIFE BRUTALY BEATS BAG OF CHEXMIX
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On Sat. Oct. 25 Chrystal Crawford went balistic on a bag of Chex mix after her husband Marshall Crawford woke her up out of her peacful sleep, and then proceeded to taunt her by shaking his head carlessly, and smiling with no regard for her peaceful sleep. According to authorities Chrystal said the head gesture is what set her off. Chrystal leaped out of her comfortable sleeping position on the reclining couch like a tiger! She snached the delicious bag of Chexmix out of her husband's hand with reflexes like a cat! She then proceeded to viciously beat the bag of Chex Mix with intent to destroy! And she suceeded. The bag BURST open, sending hundreds of pieces of Chex Mix all over the living room. According to Mr. Crawford's statement he was filled with mixed emotions of shock, fear, and anger. He stated " it happend so fast, i didnt know what to do but take cover, my life flashed in front of my eyes". Since the incident Mrs. Crawford has apologized however Mr. Crawford has to go through extensive therapy to recover from his emotional damage and the bag of Chex Mix will press charges. Mrs. Crawford will be charged with aggravated assault, excessive outburst, first degree mess making, and excessive noise making for the yelling that occurred when she was destroying the bag of Chex Mix.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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