DMV Rap Artist "Moneyland" Arrested In Largest MD Bust to Date
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10/24/16 7:28am
Dmv rapper "Young Kaos the Moneyland Man" also known as "Moneyland"; real name Erico Harold Pablo Manuel Heron-Mejias-Escobar-Lennox-Young 32, has been arrested early this morning on multiple charges including kingpin, possession over 10 tons, conspiracy to manufacture and distribute a schedule 17 controlled dangerous substance, assault to police officers, evading police custody and being too damn fly for the feds.
According to documents obtained by TMZ Moneyland was pulled over on I-95 south just inside Baltimore's inner harbor for pluckling his Backwood ashes on a police cruiser at a toll both.
Moneyland was driving a gold Lamborghini SUV on saphire 68" rims with a 260ft yacht in tow when pulled over by Maryland state police.
Officer Dicky of the Maryland highway patrol noticed a strong aroma of "money in the air" and asked Mr Moneyland to step out of the vehicle. Upon search of Moneyland's vehicles officer Dicky reportedly saw pounds upon pounds of the sweetest cheba this side of earth.
DEA reports they recovered 10.5 metric tons of "loud pak" from Mr Moneyland's vehicles.
Documents obtained state during arrest Moneyland was uncontrollably dummy smacking every officer in site while screaming "fuq u mean, B!" After Moneyland successfully put every officer to sleep, it's reported he stood on the roof of his gold Lamborghini SUV and proceeded to do the "Shmoney dance" while chanting "Half Jamaican half Puerto Rican light skin mixed niggas lives matter, B".
At that point a spec ops unit of norwegian crocodile hunters were flown in via chopper piloted by donald trump and subdued the young savage Moneyland via tranquilizer dart to the neck.
Eye witnesses all remember seeing Moneyland wearing chrome true religion jeans with a solid gold yeezy crew neck sweater, dimond nike foamposites with platinum laces and a titanium headband With the hashtag " likeYEAdoe " incrusted in kryptonite.....from Krypton.
Moneyland was later released on half a trillion dollar bond posted by President Barack Obama himself and was seen leaving the bookings in 2pac's invisible Ferrari which Moneyland purchased while walking out of bookings and was delivered via Amazon drones 2 minutes prior.
UPDATE 2:15PM 10/24/16
Moneyland's lawyer Yerimhiya Yahoojewsteinski-burg made a statement just moments ago:
" This is an outrage! My client is guilty of nothing more than being young and fly with a magnificent beard. I have spoken with the D.A. and it is expected for all charges against Mr. Heron-Mejias-Escobar-Lennox-Young to be dropped by this evening as my client will be checking himself into his own marijuana rehab for his massive marijuana addiction."
Moneyland released a statement via twitter:
"Man, they was like "yea doe! ????", I was like "yea doe? ????????", @Yahoojewsteinski-burg was like "YEA DOE like YEA DOE!!! ????????????????????????????????????????" , then i was like "yeaaaahahaaaa doe ???? like YEA doe" and thats pretty much what happened.... B likeYEAdoe "
Article by Igna Rymus
For wtop.com
www.soundcloud.com/moneylandman
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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