Trump Says Doctor Prescribed Pu$$y Grabbing to Treat His Carpal Tunnel Syndrome

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Donald Trump said his personal physician advised him to grab pussy as much as possible to alleviate symptoms associated with carpal tunnel syndrome.

Dr. Harold Bornstein, who has been the GOP nominee's doctor for 35 years, told NBC News on Friday that he stands by his assessment of the 70-year-old's physical state."His health is excellent, except for the intermittent tingling, numbness, weakness in his hands," he said in an exclusive interview at his Park Avenue office.

The only medical information released by Trump — has drawn fresh scrutiny in recent days as Trump's accusers increase each day.

Asked how he could justify advising such treatment, Bornstein said, "Normally, I do not use such over-the-top language in recommending treatment for a patient, but I made an exception for Trump."

He says Trumps carpal tunnel treatment plan included these instructions:

- Try to keep your wrist in a neutral position.
- Use your whole hand - not just your fingers-to hold pussy.
- When you grab pussy, keep your wrists straight, with your hands a little higher than your wrists. Relax your shoulders when your arms are at your sides.
- If you can, switch hands often when you repeat pussy grabbing movements.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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