Amazing R.I Carpenter/fishermen hospitalized after tripping over his own genitals and falling from roof!

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West Warwick, R.I,
Morty Grayko , 32 of Pawtucket was hospitalized earlier today when he fell 2 stories off a roof and landed flat on his ballsack(Scrotum). Anyone who has worked on a roof knows to watch your footing. Air hoses, and extension cords can quickly become the reason that sends you on a fast ride to the hospital.
This wasnt the case for Mr. Grayko. While ,"Banging shit out like a fucking madman, things go so fast and smooth your mind can sometimes wander. " All i was thinking was that i couldnt wait to get the fuck off this bullshit roof and go catch a recordbreaking bass outta Tioque." (local lake W.Warwick/Coventry)
Morty(Mr.Grayko) thought he was set and was flying through this roof like any other job put infront of him. Loud music and cigarettes feeding the fire that makes this champion beast it at such an almost impossible speed. But this day he forgot one major safety precaution.
The dufflebag he keeps inside his pants to hold his genitals from flopping out onto the floor. "He pretty much got tied up and tripped over himself and tumbled off the roof, " said the Doctor on call at Kent County Hospital.
When asked to comment on his close call with death Morty said this. "Id like to thank god for giving me such a huge sack, otherwise that fall might've gotten the better of me."
I asked if he would do anything different in the future besides making sure he was wrapped up and sheathed properly he responded angrily towardd
me and anyone close by, " Are you still asking me questions you dumb skank, ive got huge bass to catch and I dont have time to answer any more of your goddamn questions coming out of that filthy whorish mouth! So unless you wanna give me ten bucks to show it to ya, this interview is over!!"
As he peeled off in his truck he spat on the ground infront of me, giving me the middle finger with one hand out the window and lighting a cigarette with the other. As he drove away using his penis to steer the truck he yelled back to me and everyone else in the hospital parking lot ,"GOD BLESS AMERICA, AND FUCK EVERYBODY ELSE!!"

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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