Man Arrested for swinging his penis around in the food section of farm fresh

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Around 8p.m , The NPD were called to a local Farm Fresh off of Military Highway because of a man named Unique Boomer was spotted walking around the food section of Farm Fresh screaming "Long Salome on Sale". A woman named Rekiesha Lenn made a statement to police stating "I could not believe what I was seeing, his penis looked like a baby leg, I actually thought he had a cucomber in his pants, I got grossed out when he opened the freezer and sat his testicles on a bag of ice and his scrodum got attached to the ice bag, it looked painful, so I called the cops to help him out". Unique Boomer has been charged with sexual harrasement, indecent exposure, and disturbing the peace. He is now in custody at the Downtown Norfolk City Jail awaiting trial, he is being held without bond.

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