AKRON MAN GOES BEZERK AT KRISPY KREME DONUT SHOPPE
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Early Monday morning, Robert Wren, went into the Krispy Kreme donut house on South Maple and jumped the counter. The employees ran for their lives as they assumed Mr. Wren was after money. He was after kreme sticks. The 43 year-old black Buchtel High alumnus, who was wearing a crossing guard safety vest, a jock strap, knee pads, an extreme amount of baby powder, and cowboy boots punched the glass encasing the chocolate iced donuts, and spewed many four and five letter beauties, and words that aren't found in your Sunday School literature.
We interviewed one eyewitness, Genia's dad, and it took three hours to get one sentence. Mr. Watson did tell us that there was weeping, screaming, and gnashing of teeth.
Mr. Wren was arrested and charged with inciting panic, mangling goodies, public indecency, noise pollution, slapping a couple fothermuckers, and vandalism. The estimated damages are close to $10,000. Police think the incident is drug related.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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