Litman Sighting: Caped Vigilante spotted in Randallstown

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In a local Subway restaurant, a caped man claiming to be "Litman" was seen pouring Everclear and Tequila into the the soda machine while shouting "Litman serves the people!!! I got what you need!"

Restaurant patrons were shocked to find that all of the fountain drinks had been spiked.

"This ain't Sprite! This shit liquor! I almost died fam! " one patron exclaimed before throwing his cup onto the floor.

Other customers were incredibly overjoyed after Litman's stunt.

"Yoooo bruh I was eating a chicken bacon ranch and I was hella thirsty so I grabbed my cup and then....fucking LIQUOR came out bruh! This shit wild dummy! I done refilled my cup like 6 times! Thank you Litman! Litman serves the people!!!"

When approached for comment, Litman just screamed "It's Lit!" and dashed Ova West. If you know Litman or know of his whereabouts please contact Lance Corporal Harris with the Church Lane PD.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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