Chicago Native Slaps Trump Supporters on Sight
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A man was arrested yesterday for assault on 51 people in Chicago. Apparently 43-year -old Chicago native Jesse Dean Stanford slapped 51 Trump supporters: 10 African- American, 10 women, 10 Latino, 10 gay and 21 gay women of Afro-Latino descent outside of an early voters polling place in Chicago. When asked by the police why he did it he responded " I was compelled by the spirit of Frederick Douglas, Fannie Lou Hamer, Esther Rolle and Ned the Wino aka Black Jesus to slap enough fools to cover all 51 states. I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired! I did it to save a life. I had to bash'em in the head and think about heav'n laytah and as Ol' Carrot Cakes himself would say :What have I got to lose?" Immediately after his statement, the police released him charging him with 51 counts of exercising good moral judgement along with a a key to Englewood and a not yet released blu ray copy of "Southside With You" . Jesse is currently slapping any and all black, gay, middle-class Republicans.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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