Cicero Residents and their Quest to Find Blow

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Diana Beltran (who remains to use a alias), 18, and her cousin Victor Paz, 20 have been spotted yet again on the corner of Roosevelt and Cicero on their daily quest to find the notorious drug that floods our streets, COCAINE! The last time these two were spotted was when they lead CPD on a wild goose chase down Lake Shore Drive, which ended fatally as both died as they plunged their car into Lake Michigan. This time, they have resurrected by the grace and glory of Crystal Paz, 20, who spread a mystical white powdered substance on their graves. In doing so created a reemergence of both her cousins. Now, coked up, and hungry for some more, these two half dead coke zombies are on a quest to find the drug that keeps them alive and biting and killing anyone who stands in there way. The National Guard has them surrounded and streaming the gruesome scene live on WGNews.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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