Teen arrested Public disturbance

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Jordan A. Beard (17) was arrested out of Coldwater at the popular child play area called Waterworks park, on Friday, October 21st. After a local parent spotted their child running from an ugly son of a bitch,she called police ASAP. After police responded too the seen, Mrs. Beard was found showing heshes vagina too little kids asking them to poke it. Jordan ran after spotting cops and hid out in it's home den, also known as the local gas chamber. Officer Eastmeed's statement wrote

"Yea, this Jordan kid could smell us from a mile away it seemed. The kids nose is so damn big their was no chance of him hiding anywhere."

Jordan was found, passed out in a ditch 3 hours later with 2 king sized dildos in each nostril. Jordan's mug shot (seen above) was released shortly after this.

Jordan's girlfriend released a statement last night about Jordans actions

"I'm highly disappointed in him, but we went through our sex change operations together, so we will make it through this together"- Caitlyn Jenner

Jordan will serve life in prison, because in their, people won't have to see the ugly motherfucker as guys will only see the rear end of him.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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