Local degenerate swallows sofa with his anus.
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17 year old Kyle Cronick has officially broken the world record for the largest diameter anus. After years of constant anal intercourse and tireless incessant self fisting, the deranged youth has finally swallowed the largest piece of furniture available to purchase in a regular house. When asked by news reporters about his astonishing sphincter abilities he replied simply with 'My hands just aren't big enough to fill the void anymore.' After close examination by medical specialists, they concluded that Kyle is an absolute addict when it comes to dildos and other rear ended equipment. The resulting prolapses and spillages from his lonely sexual escapades have rendered him unable to walk short distances or even read. Scientists and researchers around the world are astounded by the elasticity of his gaping rectum. They have offered Kyle work that utilises his special anal abilities such as; using the hole as a skip for debris and waste, a new swimming pool for the local townsfolk, a main attraction at a new skatepark and lastly an entire bowling alley constructed solely from the remains of Kyle's shredded behind. Kyle, although greatly mentally challenged, will soon release his first autobiography entitled 'It all started with a finger.' The work is expected to be a bestseller and to receive critical acclaim.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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