Man arrested for stalking mercy flight
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A 19yr old male Micheal Kubala of Boston was taken into custody after a warrant was issued to search his parents residence. Among the disturbing items seized there was a tail section with a tissue box and hydraulic oil oozing out of a drilled hole. Some of the other items seized was a laptop filled with no other description then helicopter porn, flight tracking data, audio erotic helicopter noises with changes in throttle and moans, posters stuck to walls and even under the toilet lid,multiple stolen helicopter parts were also collected all of which seemed to be adapted for sexual gratification, helicopter models put together with what he per claims were stuck together with his love juices for helicopters.Mr. kubala was taken into custody and made a statement " that he would only go peacefully if they called in the bird ". We can only assume this was another helicopter reference. Further investigation and after interviews Mr. Kubala admitted to being addicted to helicopters, more specifically mercy flight and finds that the near sound of one makes him hard. He claimed it was a perfectly normal reaction to the sound and not a disease. He also claimed he tried to fight the urges once and have a normal relationship with a woman, but he couldn't concentrate without a tail number placed on the females hips, and acting out flight maneuvers. Mr. Kubala's bail was set at 1,000 dollars, however his only call was to mercy flight itself asking to hear the jet engine throttle up once more. He has since been banned from all major airports and mercy flight has a order of protection in place.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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