Amiri King Admits to Irrationally Blocking Facebook Fans
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
2059 73347 Shares
In a Fox2 News interview in Gatlinburg, TN on Monday, Amiri King speaks out to jumping the gun on some unnecessary Facebook "blocksies" as the Liberals are now calling it. When asked why he felt the need to come forward, he mentions that he's done some regrettable things that he fears cannot be undone. One of his first fans [Jesse Lee] was blocked recently based solely on his striking good looks and sparkling personality, AK tells us uneasily.
Amiri admits to getting angry when Jesse gave him some valuable advice, to "Live like your life Depends on it", but Amiri misunderstood and pissed his pants. He later told Fox2 "Ever since I blocked Jesse Lee and can't see him on my daily News Feed, my life feels empty AF", just before he started weeping uncontrollably like any Cubs fan generally does near the end of a regular baseball season. He goes on to tell us that this particular fan has been following him from the beginning and most of his inspiration comes directly from Jesse, going back as far as his viral "Chevy Silver-ay-do" videos on YouTube.
Amiri tells Fox 2 that he hopes his message gets to others out there that are struggling with "Blocksies Thumb" and if so, they should sit on it for a minute. Not literally "sit on their thumb" like he’s done in popular backpage videos, but to hold back on making a decision that may have a negative impact on their life for years to come.
Fox 2 reached out to Jesse Lee for a comment, but he has been unavailable. Our sources say that not only does his butt hurt from being on the receiving end of said "blocksies", but it has seriously started to itch like a raging South African brush fire in his pants that only peanut butter and melted marshmallows can soothe.
Fox 2 News,
Sandra Vagheina
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
Most Popular
-
1
bigfoot sighting at jackson lake campground near oak hill ohio Several eye witness reported seeing a large hairy animal of some kind near the Jackson lake campground. Local authorities are asking people to be cautious if you are planning on fishing near this area. One of the witnesses where able to snap a picture with their cell phone before the creature ran away near the Tommy Been rd area.
-
2
new york city woman loses her temper, causes black hole to swallow her entire town Anna, 26, of New York City, DC was in the middle of an argument with a colleague when her temper got so out of control, it formed a small black hole, which demolished the vast majority of her neighborhood. "I just couldn't take it anymore, and unleashed my forces at the person who was irritating me. I had no idea the energy of my rage could cause such destruction," says Anna. Despite the ruination her anger has caused, Anna says she has no regrets. "I actually wish I knew I had this ability sooner!" Anna laughs. "There are a lot of people and things I could have eradicated from my life in this way."
-
3
whale spotted in illinois river A humpback whale was spotted near Morris IL in the Illinois River today. The sighting comes just days after 2 Great White Sharks were seen frolicking in the same area. While not impossible, it does seem unlikely. It is thought that the whale may have followed the sharks as they sometimes do in the wild. The whale would of had to travel over 1250 miles to get to this location. The Marine Biologist Association will be in town for a full investigation. Until we have answers, we are asking folks to keep their pontoons and fishing boats docked.
-
4
two great white sharks found swimming in mississippi river near saint louis, missouri. While it is not entirely impossible, it is incredibly uncommon for salt water dwelling creatures to stay for lengthy periods of time in fresh water. However, two Great White Sharks have managed to survive the trip and make their way up the Mississippi River somehow. Believed to have started as a mating couple, the two are assumed to have swam the 920 mile journey from the mouth of the Mississippi River that is connected to the Gulf Of Mexico. Officials in Saint Louis have contacted the Missouri Conservation Department and will likely have a team in the river soon to capture the two lost sharks.