Buckhorn's Guard Set to Own New World Record
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Daniel Vasey may be the talk of the team for years to come after yesterday's award. Vasey was awarded the Guinness Book of World Records award for largest forehead in history. Present for the measurement of Vasey's monumental forehead were his two brothers Kyle, a preferred walk on long snapper for Penn State who doesn't even start, and his twin brother Chad, who couldn't catch and STD in Kayli Bierle's room. When asked about his massive forehead, Vasey gave a statement regarding its uses. "Sometimes I block field goals with it and other times my girl Brittney, or Whip Cracka or Massa as my teammates call her, asks me to use it to block out the sun when she's too hot. I'm glad it come to good use even though it's hard to make it through doorways." We may see another record in the near future from the Buckhorn's as fellow guard Carmine Gattuso will be having his eyebrow measured for largest unibrow in history. He will have stiff competition as Abington Height's own d-line hero Logan Hivner, or "Daddy" as Gattuso has to refer to him after a recent game against the comets, will also have his monstrous brow measured.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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