HPD Releases Names of Two Young Mothers Shoplifting at Citi Trends

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Houston Police Department are asking for all citizens to be on the lookout for two young mothers in their late 20s. Britney Swanson 25, and accomplice Domnique Swanson 27, who were caught shoplifting and took a quick decision for fire shots from a children's NERF gun.
The incident took place at a Local mall known as Almeda Mall. The two young ladies entered the facility in Citi Trends Store around 5:30 pm with a baby stroller with no baby inside , an anonymous witness says. Both ladies began stuffing over $2500 worth of clothing withan additional $700 of accessories stuffed up their croutch. Pushing the the stroller out with a total $3200 in merchandise. It wasn't long until cashiers and management from other stores in the mall noticed the ladies had items with no bags. Security were no match for these Kleptomaniacs who fired multiple rounds of nerf pellets at them . Another witness says that when the two tried to get away , went as far as yelling " Bagels are for sales associates only " & " for me maybe ?" and also ran like they had something stuck up their anuses a florida native says. In the mist of it all the ladies still got away with the merchandise speeding off in a Mazda SUV which license plates are unknown. If you have any information leading to these two ladies whereabouts please be quick to give 222 tips a call .

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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