Morton Grove Man Found With D*ck in His Ass
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On Wednesday at 6:00, Police Officer Rondo and Police Officer Jillians of the Morton Grove Police Department arrive on the scene of Beckwith and Oriole to find something that made their jaws drop in awe. When authorities arrive at the house they noticed a small hint of marijuana lingering from the house on 9240 Oriole Ave. Prompting to investigate, the officers enter from the back door to the yard and find something that would complete their history with the police department.
Christian Matthew Schutz, 19 yrs, has been known to reside at the address and residents in the neighborhood claim that the stench has been present for a while, and shenanigans from this household are not surprising as they happen every day. Except on this day Christian was found with an exceptionally huge d*ck in his ass. The police officers took distant measures to ensure safety while paramedics arrived to take it out of his ass. Reporters were on the scene asked questions. "How long have you had a d*ck in your ass? For life" "How many would you prefer in your ass? 6 but im always down for more offers" Questions were then soon at a halt.
Christian was then taken into custody for possesion of marijuana and possesion of a d*ck in his ass and will report to court in a week from today.
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This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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