Things that go bump in the night on Halloween

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A recent discovery has been uncovered about the true nature of Halloween and its practises and what the discovery is might shock you.

It all started not too long back when a young Christian Woman was talking to (unbeknownst to her) a Pastaferian. Now that might seem to be an every day occurrence, but trust me, It is not.
The Female Christian, who won't be named for the sake of her identity, said to the pastaferian how on Halloween the mystical unicorn of death, ridden by four horsemen simultaneously, rises up from beneath his very house and the only way to deter such a beast is to entertain it with such activities as: Juggling, Music and repeating bad sexist jokes.

Now that may sound far fetched, but the belief of such a creature has been around for centuries and continues to be a big part of some people's very lives today. in fact, the very earliest recorded historical documents date back to around 500 thousand BC and was written in an obscenely obscure dialect from a well known civilisation called the Lamurians.
Now Lamurians, in case you didn't know, were a very advanced xenophobic race who have only very recently been discovered in the past few years from a few artefacts they seem to have left behind. In fact, they were so advanced that their form of communication utilised sequence thought processes which entailed very detailed memorisation viseralsasationstations.

What has that got to do with the Pink Unicorn of Death and Halloween you may ask? Well let me tell you. It has as much to do with Halloween as Halloween has to do with it. And that very statement is the key to understanding the very basis of understanding upholding the very nature unto itself.

So, if you take anything from this, remember, It's not what we know to be what is. Rather, it is what they know what we know what they both do and don't take from said topic which actually mirrors both our choices and decisions both passively and arrogantly whilst we live our very lives in this unit of unfolding space-time and that what is is actually no truer than what was and what is soon to be.

Hopefully this article has enlightened you on the very real dangers of not celebrating this traditional holiday and we recommend you to do your best to uphold your sacred right which keeps this mystical creature at bay.

This Author is a very credited author which has attained the highest achievement in his field. Any information presented here should be taken as given and references will be given if asked for.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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