Quad City Man Charged With Stalking Rick Astley For "Giving Up" On Him
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Moline, IL - A Quad City Area man was arrested Tuesday night and charged with Aggravated Stalking of an Internet Sensation. Authorities say that Cory Ewing of Moline, IL was seen lurking around the home of 80's pop singer Rick Astley Tuesday afternoon. According to Astley, Ewing appeared in all of the lower level windows of Astley's home, each time asking why he lied to him and his friends.
"I had no idea he would actually show up," said Astley. "I mean, he would cyberstalk me all the time, claiming that I gave him and his friends up, and I let them down. That's completely untrue, I've never given anyone up, nor let them down. No one has ever been deserted by me either! Many people know that I've never made them cry or said goodbye. I honestly can't remember the last time I've told anyone a lie or hurt them!"
"We are still investigating the details of what happened," said Sgt. Lou Bega. "But it appears that Mr. Ewing is thoroughly convinced that Mr. Astley had broken some sort of promise to him and his friends, which he claims he has proof in a musical recording."
Mr. Ewing's attorneys in the matter, Los del Rios, issued the following statement: "Our client is completely justified in wondering why Mr. Astley had repeatedly broken his promise of never giving up on him and everyone who heard the message in the recording. We will prove that no ill-will was intended, and we do plan to take legal action against Mr. Astley for breaking a verbal agreement he himself made."
Before being processed for booking, Mr. Ewing was heard shouting "He lied to us!! He lied to ALLL of us!!"
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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