Local Florida woman allows people who insult Jack White to touch her breasts
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Local Florida woman Christina Villars is best known for being a fanatic of Donald Trump, tap dancing, and - more recently - her secret bean dip recipe that was a hit among locals; but this week she is causing quite a stir among the neighborhood.
It all began when Ms. Villars took the town by storm, megaphone in hand, asking anyone she crossed paths with to insult famous musician and song writer Jack White (best known for his work with The White Stripes and solo music career). Few people acknowledged her request. That is until Ms. Villars upped the ante and began to tell participants that she would allow them to shake, stroke, and jiggle her breasts for up to twenty seconds maximum, depending on how savage the insults were.
We asked Ms. Villars why she has stormed the public with this movement, she told reporters: "Look, some people try to save the world, but my only goal here today is to send out a signal to Jack White so that he can know full well that he is human garbage. He is a tall, gangly, pasty, fedora wearing f**k and I can't stand for it any longer. The people have spoken and I've found many in this community are as sick of his pale, dolphin tooth riddled face as I am. We must be heard, sacrificing the sanctity of my boobicles is a small price to be paid. I hope I've inspired women like me to do the same. Heh... Sanctity, get it...? It's got 'titty' in it. Whatever, get out of my face."
This story is still developing.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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