Bessemer Man Found In Bed With Goat
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A group of burglars early Thursday morning discovered a Bessemer, Caucasian male in his early to mid 30's (who is pictured but not yet identified) in bed with what local law enforcement and animal control officials are currently describing to be an adult, male goat. A team of goat experts from The University of Montevallo are being brought in to determine if the species is in fact part of the goat variety, but everyone on the scene is pretty darned sure it's a goat alright.
When approached for questioning, the alleged goat simply jumped out of bed, farted and exited the home in a calm manner. The supposed goat is now wide awake and enjoying a Campbell's Tomato Soup can in an undisclosed location downtown. The man was left sleeping and undisturbed. It is not known at this time if the man was violated in the night by the presumed goat or if they are even acquaintances. It may be another one or two hours before he wakes up.
Bessemer residents are being advised to check in, under and around their beds for goats or any signs of goatly activity for the next few weeks, until we know for certain if this was an isolated incident or if a full-blown bed-goat epidemic is at hand. We will have more information on this story as it develops. Maybe. It's obviously a slow news day... I think I'll just play Farmville for the rest of the morning. Screw it!
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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