"Beaner" on the loose
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Some beaner by the name of Brenda Ojeda, whom is a former senior at Moline was found Saturday night trying to lure kids into her a car by saying she was giving cups of elote. ELOTE. Which is her favorite food so obviously she wouldn't be giving that away but most likely eating it. Instead what was inside the cup was pieces of manure. Investigators haven't found who the manure is from but it is most likely from the crazy maniac, Brenda herself. Her family has reported that she stormed out of the house yelling "all y'all are fake bitches" and they didn't see her for the rest of the day. They called her, then went to go look for her and found her phone a block away, on the ground but it was dead, as usual. The Moline Police Department insists nobody go on the search for her, because they don't want this to be another one of those "clown hunting" schemes. Please stay inside, lock the doors, and hide the children! In case you do see her, please call 1-800-nobodyreallycares and ask for Erika Ojeda or just call her by the name of "Chachis" and offer her some food plus a drink, preferably some green tea and she'll be fine for a few minutes.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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