Skinny woman found hiding behind lightpole after highspeed chase

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Paris Hickman (in the photo above) took the St Charles county police on a intense highspeed roadtrip this afternoon after allegedly almost running her babydaddy off of the road while on his motorcycle. We spoke to him and what he had to say was kind of strange. He told us that he and Hickman had been arguing lately because she had gotten caught on the other side on town panhandling aggressively when she's been telling him he's going to work everyday. When the couple began to argue this time although in the wrong, Hickman jumped in her pontiac grand am with two truck tires in the back, one dounut (spare tire), one white wall tire, a black trash bags on every window because she's too cheap to buy tints, with a pink and neon jump rope to hold the trunk closed and attempted to run him down. That's when his soft ass decided to called the proper authorities. Police spotted Hickman on highway 70 and the pursuit began. She led the police to a relatives home in Jennings where she jump out of her car barely in park, and took off on foot. Police described the incident as "something you'd see in a cartoon". An officer on the scene stated, "idk what happened, a stick figure jumped out, ran towards the side of the street, and disappeared". After a long search a police dog found Hickman standing on the side of a light pole. She was sniffed out by the scent of hot fries and perm. Surveillance footage showed Hickman standing there the whole time. Officers told us while getting processed at the station Hickman did ducklips when taking her mugshot photo with her big head ass. Smh

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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