Bay Area Rapper Indicted
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A Bay Area Rapper known as Mike Dash E was indicted by federal investigators early friday morning. Dash E, whose real name is Michael, is wanted for numerous crimes involving sodomizing stray dogs in his Pinole area neighborhood. Federal investigators were tipped off to the crimes by the local animal shelter with constant cases of animal cruelty, over 50 animals diagnosed with damaged rectums. A Contra Costa county judge has ordered bail set at $250,000 dollars. Dash E maintains his innocence and describes the charges as "completely bogus" "I'm just a good dude who works hard and makes lumpia everyday" he says. "I don't understand where these charges came from, I'm not even into anal sex, I prefer doing it the way the Lord intended" Dashe E is currently being held at Contra Costa County Jail awaiting trial.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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