Local Authorities admit : Yoga pants don't lie. Could help with moral.

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Thursday 11 August 2059 74296 Shares

Local authorities admitted in court today yoga pants don't lie. JUDGE IEM-UP heard the case today which included testimony and eye witness accounts. County law enforcement testified that some ossifers have been placed into a trance while concentrating on yoga pants. Yoga pants seem to "offer a form of stress relief when stared at for long periods of time". When the form fitting summer attire waddles from sight, the trance is broken and ossifers seem to be more relaxed and write less tickets , more warnings. One ossifer who asked to remain unonomus said, he prefers yoga pants over yogurt donuts anyday. Dash cam video showed smiles from ear to ear on ossifers and cadets while watching yoga pants approaching or retreating. As part of their training ,Cadets must wear cheap sunglasses to prevent cross eyes syndrome. Seasoned ossifers prefer a mirrored lens to prevent "the deer in the headlight look" as most wearing the pants turn a shoulder to see who is watching their back. MSP feels weight limits should be enforced and fines levied for blown out yoga pants. Quote: its like trying to fit two 16lb bowling balls into a marble bag, someones gonna get hurt, its all fun and games until someone loses an eye! The Obama administration passed a law preventing the use of buttons or snaps on all yoga attire due to high flight speeds of said buttons or snaps. The Trump administration has since allowed the safety law citing, "seamless saves lives"
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