Former Tennis Star Rita Agassi Bitten by Poisonous Bug
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At about 11 a.m. PST on Sunday July 23, Long time Vegas resident and respected tennis pro Rita Agassi was bitten by a rare and poisonous caterpillar. "I was leaving my moms house when I see a caterpillar in the driveway being attacked by ants. So I pick him up to save him and the little bastard bites me. I should have thrown him back in the ant pile. But I put him safely under a bush" said Rita. "Immediately I felt my body going into spasms and the area where I was bitten started to swell, so I called my dad to ask him what to do. He told me to come over to the house , get on the court and hit 5000 balls. That's his cure for everything."
Experts are saying the kind of bug that bit Agassi is not native to the Vegas Valley and may have been brought in by terrorists as yet another way to attack Americans. Police Chief Lomardo reminds us..."If you see something, step on it!"
Agassi is resting comfortably at Our Lady of Perpetual Good Fortune Hospital and is expected to make a full recovery, after Obamacare pays the bill.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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