Local Dallas, NC rising sports star facing 60-Life in prison
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9th grade sports phenom, Kobe Christian (also infamously locally known as Kob3 or Goofy) is facing 60 years to Life in Alcatraz Federal Penitentiary. "Goofy" was tried in court Friday (3 days ago) for battery and emotional distress that occurred at an horrific scene approximately 3 months ago. Local witness Deneil Mackins described the scene as "Unbearable" saying he has never seen anything like it. Nyquist "Brokeboy" Haynes was competing in a friendly game of basketball with Kob3, it was all fun and games until Haynes intentionally tripped Christian, resulting in an angry retaliation that would forever change "Brokeboy's" life. Goofy then took two very hard dribbles (quickest ever recorded on first hand) then quickly yanked the ball back into his opposite hand while at the same stopping his momentum. This dillusional snatchback forced Haynes to go into shock and immediately Nyquist "couldn't feel a nerve in his ankles" said Haynes, as he collapsed to the ground. Haynes was rushed to the doctor asap, where he was told he would never walk again. Local authorities were called on site, where Christian was escorted to the local gaston county jail.
Kob3 Christian is planning to shorten his sentence to 12 years by undergoing AMCT(Advanced Military Combat Training). There the forces will attempt to utilize Kob3's fatal Snatchback in order to engage in military warfare.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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