The mystery of the Coffee Bean Love Triangle
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
2059 60065 Shares
On October 17th, 911 had received a mysterious call for the police to check on a house on E. 14th Ave. There they had found Patricia Matthews dead on her bed with a coffee cup in her hand. The police traced the call back to a coffee shop named S. Bucks where Matthews gets her cup of coffee every morning. A worker who sees Matthews daily, wondered why she haven't seen the patron for a week, and became worried. "I hope they find out who did it. Ms. Pat was a sweet ole lady who I give a free cup every now and then. On April Fools, I gave her a cup of water to make her think that it's coffee, and she threw it on my face! But it was all for good fun. I deserve it. Can nobody messes with her coffee!"
On October 18th, the detectives received a leak for them to investigate back in the home to look for more evidence. In her bedroom, they found a bag of coffee beans with a message that reads, "If I can't have you, nobody can. -T.H"
Matthews's daughter who withheld her name released this statement. "My mother is a good woman, but I know that she has a weakness for coffee. This is very tragic. I don't know who would do this to her. This is why I stay loyal to pepsi."
If anyone knows about this crime, please call Drink Stoppers.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
Most Popular
-
1
bigfoot sighting at jackson lake campground near oak hill ohio Several eye witness reported seeing a large hairy animal of some kind near the Jackson lake campground. Local authorities are asking people to be cautious if you are planning on fishing near this area. One of the witnesses where able to snap a picture with their cell phone before the creature ran away near the Tommy Been rd area.
-
2
new york city woman loses her temper, causes black hole to swallow her entire town Anna, 26, of New York City, DC was in the middle of an argument with a colleague when her temper got so out of control, it formed a small black hole, which demolished the vast majority of her neighborhood. "I just couldn't take it anymore, and unleashed my forces at the person who was irritating me. I had no idea the energy of my rage could cause such destruction," says Anna. Despite the ruination her anger has caused, Anna says she has no regrets. "I actually wish I knew I had this ability sooner!" Anna laughs. "There are a lot of people and things I could have eradicated from my life in this way."
-
3
whale spotted in illinois river A humpback whale was spotted near Morris IL in the Illinois River today. The sighting comes just days after 2 Great White Sharks were seen frolicking in the same area. While not impossible, it does seem unlikely. It is thought that the whale may have followed the sharks as they sometimes do in the wild. The whale would of had to travel over 1250 miles to get to this location. The Marine Biologist Association will be in town for a full investigation. Until we have answers, we are asking folks to keep their pontoons and fishing boats docked.
-
4
two great white sharks found swimming in mississippi river near saint louis, missouri. While it is not entirely impossible, it is incredibly uncommon for salt water dwelling creatures to stay for lengthy periods of time in fresh water. However, two Great White Sharks have managed to survive the trip and make their way up the Mississippi River somehow. Believed to have started as a mating couple, the two are assumed to have swam the 920 mile journey from the mouth of the Mississippi River that is connected to the Gulf Of Mexico. Officials in Saint Louis have contacted the Missouri Conservation Department and will likely have a team in the river soon to capture the two lost sharks.