Benedictine's Palasiewicz to Begin Rookie DRL Contract
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
2059 32906 Shares
Lisle, IL - It appears that not only baseball and pitching are Somonauk native Joe Palasiewicz' strong suit. Palasiewicz has developed a strong interest, and skill, into the upcoming worldwide sport, professional drone racing.
The senior pitcher out of Benedictine University, who is coming off of an undefeated year on the mound last year, has risen to the top of the world leader boards as Team Poland's head pilot. At the recent state tournament, Palasiewicz piloted his team to a 1st place finish with a time of 12:32.08, setting a new personal and state record at one of the most challenging courses in Illinois, Burlington Pines.
Team Impulse, the team who seeks to sign Palasiewicz to a $2 million, 4-year contract, has seen multiple competitions and has taken in his talent. "Joes got guts," team captain Riley Patterson says, "most young pilots can't maneuver that thing like that. He's gonna get us places."
Can't wait for the upcoming season? Be sure to check out Palasiewicz, Patterson, and the rest of Team Impulse as they head to their first international circuit in Guadalajara, Mexico in December.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
Most Popular
-
1
bigfoot sighting at jackson lake campground near oak hill ohio Several eye witness reported seeing a large hairy animal of some kind near the Jackson lake campground. Local authorities are asking people to be cautious if you are planning on fishing near this area. One of the witnesses where able to snap a picture with their cell phone before the creature ran away near the Tommy Been rd area.
-
2
new york city woman loses her temper, causes black hole to swallow her entire town Anna, 26, of New York City, DC was in the middle of an argument with a colleague when her temper got so out of control, it formed a small black hole, which demolished the vast majority of her neighborhood. "I just couldn't take it anymore, and unleashed my forces at the person who was irritating me. I had no idea the energy of my rage could cause such destruction," says Anna. Despite the ruination her anger has caused, Anna says she has no regrets. "I actually wish I knew I had this ability sooner!" Anna laughs. "There are a lot of people and things I could have eradicated from my life in this way."
-
3
whale spotted in illinois river A humpback whale was spotted near Morris IL in the Illinois River today. The sighting comes just days after 2 Great White Sharks were seen frolicking in the same area. While not impossible, it does seem unlikely. It is thought that the whale may have followed the sharks as they sometimes do in the wild. The whale would of had to travel over 1250 miles to get to this location. The Marine Biologist Association will be in town for a full investigation. Until we have answers, we are asking folks to keep their pontoons and fishing boats docked.
-
4
two great white sharks found swimming in mississippi river near saint louis, missouri. While it is not entirely impossible, it is incredibly uncommon for salt water dwelling creatures to stay for lengthy periods of time in fresh water. However, two Great White Sharks have managed to survive the trip and make their way up the Mississippi River somehow. Believed to have started as a mating couple, the two are assumed to have swam the 920 mile journey from the mouth of the Mississippi River that is connected to the Gulf Of Mexico. Officials in Saint Louis have contacted the Missouri Conservation Department and will likely have a team in the river soon to capture the two lost sharks.