Desiray Alivia Cooks A Meal! (Finally)

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Authorities say that on this morning at approximately 10:12AM, Desiray Alivia was not acting as her usual self. With her husband still in bed asleep prior to a long, hard work day, Desiray began to cook her husband, Randolph breakfast. He had no idea what he was in for. Reporters spoke to Randolph this morning and he said "yeah, man I was downstairs asleep with some intense rock hard morning wood and I felt a soft touch on my shoulder. Before I could open my eyes, I smelled the aroma of them there taters, eggs, cornbread and bacon sittin' on that plate." Randolph went on to explain that throughout their one plus year relationship, this was only the 7th time Desiray cooked for him. When asked why he hasn't left her yet for inconsistent cooking, Randolph explained: "You see that booty though?" When asked if she plans to cook him dinner tonight at 9 when he arrives home from work, Desiray declined to speak to reporters. "I reckon it'll be about another 4 1/2 months for I see her pretty face in that there kitchen." said Randolph.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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