Sex supply-stealing suspects: Help identify thieves caught on camera stealing hundreds worth of condoms, pregnancy kits.

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They’re accused of lifting hundreds of dollars’ worth of condoms and pregnancy tests from Walmart in Lynchburg Va.

“They knew what they were looking for,” says Lynchburg Police Sgt. Shane Hawley. “They went right to the health and beauty section and they brought their own bags, grabbed a cart, loaded up about $500 worth of merchandise, high-end health and beauty stuff and then just walked right out of the store. You could tell right from the beginning they knew where they were going, they knew what they wanted to get and this wasn’t the first time, because a couple days before that they also hit a store in River Ridge Mall, they did the exact same thing. Organized retail theft, which is what this is going to end up being, affects everybody. When you go to the grocery store you’re paying for their theft, so we like to put these rings out of business as often as we can.”

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