T-SHIRT SCANDAL

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OLD FORGE - Philladelphia Narcotic Officers were dispatched to a small dilapidated apartment building residing just on the outskirts of Temple University Campus located on the northern coast of Philadelphia. Newly appointed State Attorney General Zachary Horn acknowledged that The Philadelphia Narcotic Task Force Agency had been keeping the apartment under close surveilance the last 2-3 months...after several complaints of ”Foul Smell" and "Purple Vapor" had been circulating around the apartment complex. Horn said, "We got approximately 3-4 reports of a foul smelling odor, as well as reports of smells of polyester filling the air ducts and central air ventilation system in and around the complex's vicinity. Undercover Narcotic Deputies also noticed a slight purple corrosion on the left side of the building near the portside window(s)." The Philadelphia District Attorney and high ranking policing officers were instructed to keep the complex under surveillance and move dilligently untill further observation. Horn also stated, "We had an assumption an in-house meth lab was residing in the upper larboard section of the apartment building due to the signs of wear and olfactory reports from several residents. We began the investigation by sending in an undercover. The undercover was an individual familar to the residents in the apartment...as part of a plea deal..." The Narcotic agents recruited Mr. Ryan Levan also as Old Forge as well as another individual close to Mr Levan. (The Philadelphia times does not disclose the name of victims of sexual acts of crime unless they are an 8.5 or hotter) as a stipulation of a plea deal from a marijuana misdemeanor committed by Mr. Levan in 2014.

Mr. Levan was not helpful in providng any useful information for the investigation. When asked to disclose key critical information leading to a breakthrough Levan was qouted as saying, "Fuck"

After Months of waiting patiently and a moderate amount of serveillance Philidelphia officials declared Operation One-Hit and received legal documentation to pursue a search warrant.
On October 23 at 2:33 AM Philadelphia narcotics detectives as well as Philadelphia police raided the apartment door and to their suprise they did not fund any methanephetamine; however, they seized a small amount of marijuana, 2 bottles of prescription test boosters, one tobacco bowl with marijuana residue and 23 and 1/2 T-shirts, polos and lightweight track jackets boiling in 4 different croc pots on the apartment's stove.
Anthony Duggar-Old Forge- was charged with two accounts of controlled substance possesion, one account of vandalism of public property, 1 account of possesion of movable property, 2 accounts of conspiracy, 4 accounts of unlawful boiling and 2 accounts of intent to sell or deliver. Mr. Tyler Piccotti-Taylor- also in the apartment was charged with 2 accounts of conspiracy and 1 account of illegal possesion of a controlled substance. Mr. Levan was also found guilty of violating his plea deal and ordered to be sentenced to court.
Mr. Dougher was sentenced to Philadelphia Federal Prison set with a bail of 50,000 dollars. Mr. Piccotti was sentenced to Montgomery County Prison with a bail of 10,000. Mr. Levan has been sent to Philadelphia County Hospital to be examined before taken to Rikers Island Prison, New York, New York.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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