Augusta County man trapped in refrigerator, eats own foot to survive.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

Wednesday 10 August 2059 8511 Shares

Staunton, Va- In an amazing tale of survival, 24 year-old Haywood Jablowmi was found trapped in a refrigerator early this morning by a local garbage man. Apparently Brian had crawled into a discarded fridge when his football errantly landed inside. It is not known how he became trapped, but Dr. Theodore Atkins, a local ER doctor theorized: "It is thought that when he got into the refrigerator it rocked in such a way that the door swung shut. This type of refrigerator had a locking handle. Very dangerous."

There were some holes in the antique ice box that allowed him to get much needed oxygen.

Brian was reported missing on Monday afternoon around 3 PM and not found until Wednesday morning at 7 AM. 40 hours inside the the cooler with nothing to eat forced him to resort to drastic measures. When found, he had chewed through two of his toes and actually eaten part of his own foot.

Dr. Atkins explained, "When a man this age is locked in darkness with nothing to eat for more than a day they will tend to become delusional. Brian had a case of what we call Phlangicosis. It is very common in extreme situations."

Brian was rushed to a local hospital where his injuries were tended to and an IV was given to replenish fluids. He is in stable condition and should be able to return home sometime this weekend.

His mother, Judy Adams commented through tears: "We were so worried. I can't imagine how scared he must have been. We just thank God that he survived."

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

loading Biewty

Most Popular

  1. 1

    bigfoot sighting at jackson lake campground near oak hill ohio Several eye witness reported seeing a large hairy animal of some kind near the Jackson lake campground. Local authorities are asking people to be cautious if you are planning on fishing near this area. One of the witnesses where able to snap a picture with their cell phone before the creature ran away near the Tommy Been rd area.

  2. 2

    new york city woman loses her temper, causes black hole to swallow her entire town Anna, 26, of New York City, DC was in the middle of an argument with a colleague when her temper got so out of control, it formed a small black hole, which demolished the vast majority of her neighborhood. "I just couldn't take it anymore, and unleashed my forces at the person who was irritating me. I had no idea the energy of my rage could cause such destruction," says Anna. Despite the ruination her anger has caused, Anna says she has no regrets. "I actually wish I knew I had this ability sooner!" Anna laughs. "There are a lot of people and things I could have eradicated from my life in this way."

  3. 3

    whale spotted in illinois river A humpback whale was spotted near Morris IL in the Illinois River today. The sighting comes just days after 2 Great White Sharks were seen frolicking in the same area. While not impossible, it does seem unlikely. It is thought that the whale may have followed the sharks as they sometimes do in the wild. The whale would of had to travel over 1250 miles to get to this location. The Marine Biologist Association will be in town for a full investigation. Until we have answers, we are asking folks to keep their pontoons and fishing boats docked.

  4. 4

    two great white sharks found swimming in mississippi river near saint louis, missouri. While it is not entirely impossible, it is incredibly uncommon for salt water dwelling creatures to stay for lengthy periods of time in fresh water. However, two Great White Sharks have managed to survive the trip and make their way up the Mississippi River somehow. Believed to have started as a mating couple, the two are assumed to have swam the 920 mile journey from the mouth of the Mississippi River that is connected to the Gulf Of Mexico. Officials in Saint Louis have contacted the Missouri Conservation Department and will likely have a team in the river soon to capture the two lost sharks.