Lake Mohawk Home To New Group Of Home Buyers

Saturday 18 September 2059 14773 Shares

Lake Mohawk Home To New Group Of Home Buyers

Lake Mohawk caters to many different types of people, but recently, the neighborhood has seen some changes.

Saying the area felt like the "perfect fit" for him, local asshole Kevin (redacted) expressed his excitement Wednesday at moving to Lake Mohawk where all the assholes live. “I’m really glad I moved here, among every other asshole in the county,” said the 45-year-old asshole, who, given his completely assholeish hobbies and interests, had long desired to live in the neighborhood of assholes. “There are so many great asshole restaurants and a ton of really convenient asshole stores right outside of our gated community. I can’t wait to get settled in and be a complete and unrepentant asshole alongside pricks, bastards, and fuckers exactly like me. I already feel at home.”

At press time, the total asshole had reportedly met an asshole woman at a local coffee shop that specifically caters to assholes.

Reporter: Malcome Holcomb

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